There is something I have discovered about death. Death is so final to those here left on earth; but to those whose spirits are transporting to their eternal home it is only a beginning.

On October 20, 2020, my father-in law’s body breathed it’s last breathe here on earth. His spirit had been gone for quite sometime. We were just seeing his earthly vessel through to rest.

October 10, 2020 Clifton was involved in a motorcycle accident.

When Susan called my husband we were in Lubbock and had just picked up the new flooring for our bathroom we have been renovating. I heard my husband on the phone tell his mom he would pull over.

The next place to pull over was in the parking lot of a church. We were told in that parking lot the news of his dad’s accident and that he was being taken by helicopter to the hospital. Even now I see this as God providing a comforting place for life altering news.

We said a prayer and told Susan we would meet her there.

Even though fear swelled within us as the unknown crept down from the skies, the hand of God was evident from the beginning.

We pulled into the UMC parking lot by the helicopter pad and there was one parking spot that was located right beside the fence that enclosed it.

We watched as the helicopter touched down. The image will never leave me.

Let me take a time out here and explain something… Some men have a Superman complex about them, right? Like they can fix anything, build anything, do anything and that they will always be with us. That was my father in law. He was sixty-two and was still climbing into attics and under my house to fix things. I know very few people who worked as hard as he did. He was fit and handsome with a contagious smile.

That is why when I saw him on the stretcher, encased by machines, I was shocked.

We couldn’t even tell if it was him to begin with but I saw his feet, those same feet that I had seen kicked up many-a-evenings on the couch- I knew it was him.

I cupped my husband’s face in my hands, “Don’t look,” I said through tears as his eyes were wide with fright and anxiety.

I didn’t know how bad it was and wasn’t sure what he would look like, but as they took him off the helicopter and regrouped to wheel him inside I realized he was too covered up to see much at all.

“Who are ya’ll looking for?” one of the paramedics asked. I am sure they were perplexed at the couple standing, thanking them and raising their hands in prayer, crying and staring at them.

“Is this the man from Snyder?” My husband answered a question with a question.

“Yes.”

I wasn’t sure if he was living or if they could tell us his condition at all.

The pilot stepped forward after two other paramedics wheeled him inside, “I am not doctor, but they weren’t saying anything major in the back. I am a praying man and I prayed over him all the way here. I prayed if he was lost God would save him and if not that He would welcome Him into his kingdom…”

This man had no idea the comfort this would give our whole family in the months to come. To know Clifton was prayed over his whole trip by a brother in Christ is worth its weight in gold.

Was this real? 

It was. The look in my husband’s eyes told me so.

Because of COVID regulations, we had to wait outside in the parking lot for further instruction.

I firmly believe waiting in the unknown can be the most daunting part of tragedy.

After awhile, we were told that he was in ICU room #7. #7 the number of completion in the Bible… it was fitting for Clifton.

My mother-in-law was the first to go in and see him. She came out with tears in her eyes, “It’s not good….”

Critical.

Over the next ten days we would learn of his injuries: broken clavicle, ribs, elbow, both wrists, nose, temple bone and global brain injury. They had to do a craniotomy on the right hand side of his skull to relieve pressure as he had multiple brain bleeds.

I did not go in to see him the first night. I knew I had to mentally prepare myself to see him in that condition. My father-in-law was lying in a bed in a coma. They had not put him under, his brain was doing that. He was only on pain medicine.

We were blessed that we got to switch out to go see him. We were afraid they would only allow one in and out which meant it would be my mother-in-law. That is such a big load to carry on one person.

He had a tube in his head to drain the blood off his brain. He had monitors all around him, beeping… pulsing… making mechanical sounds. He had a ventilator on. I cringed.

This was not superman.

In the next ten days we waited for a sign of life. Nothing. Only reflexes to pain and some eye movement which was involuntary.

And crying. His eyes did cry.

I still can’t explain that only to say that it is a basic function and people in the vegetative state have been known to cry.

As I sat by the bed and rested my head against his arm, he was so warm. He felt so alive, yet he was so broken and wasn’t responsive at all. So odd.

It is hard to convey what occurred during those ten days in one blog. Quite impossible really. I don’t think any words can ever express the roller coaster of emotions we rode and are still riding.

But one distinctive moment was the sign.

Susan, my mother-in-law, had asked God for a sign that Clifton was either in heaven or on earth. We were facing the choice to take him off life support.

I was under the impression from Christ that Clifton’s spirit was already with Jesus, but we wanted concrete proof of this, and God gave us that through twenty-five cents.

Susan heard God say, “write this down… ‘If I find a quarter with heads up… Clifton is already in heaven…”

She didn’t tell the family because she didn’t want us walking around looking for a quarter.

All day… nothing.

Then that evening her niece, Brandi, came down from sitting with Clifton, “Clifton has money in his Bible…”

Susan’s ear perked up.

“I opened up his Bible and a quarter fell out…” Brandi said.

“Oh, I was using it as a bookmark…” my brother-in-law replied.

Susan was the last to go in to see Clifton for the night and she opened his Bible. She must have smiled. There sitting in between the pages of Proverbs was a face-up quarter, and not just any quarter, a North Dakota quarter.

When they first opened their trucking business, Clifton would take loads to North Dakota. He called it “spending time with God.” He would do nothing but pray, admire the countryside and sing to Jesus.

As my mother-in-law came down and told us about what she had found and the significance of this treasure, I could see my husband’s face fall a bit.

It wasn’t that I didn’t wish God would do a miraculous miracle with my father-in-law. A Lazarus-like miracle was the ONLY way I wanted him to heal on earth because if he woke up in the condition he was in… it would be excruciating.

Clifton had endured a lot. Falling off a roof, a rattlesnake bite, turning over his semi, and after his semi wreck he said, “I never want to hurt like that again.”

I knew if he woke up without being healed fully and completely, he would be in so much pain it would be miserable.

Still, you feel selfish for thinking such things and it is hard on one’s marriage when the two of you are feeling different ranges of emotions at once and have different viewpoints.

My husband is the most loyal person I know. He will lay down his life for those he loves no questions and He loves with a passion and ferocity that I didn’t know existed.

When it comes to situations like this one, the decision to take someone off life support and allow their body to be at rest I know was incredibly difficult for him.

Still, when we did make that decision, after family meetings with doctors, prayer, and God confirming the path with a sign, I watched my husband coach his dad’s body to its end with incredible kindness and strength.

As our family stood over Clifton’s body and sang “It Is Well With My Soul,” I experienced the closest thing to heaven and agony I had ever encountered. It seemed the chasm between heaven and earth was opened, if just for a moment and we were able to feel the presence of God and heavenly host while also feeling the deep wound of earthly death.

The strength I saw in my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law and my husband during this time has made me even more confident that there is a God and He comforts His people.

I had to leave to go back to work as I had already missed so much already, and we were told his body would hold on for a couple of days because he was so strong. So I told them to call me when they thought his body was nearing its end. The plan was to go back up to the hospital that weekend.

Putting my hand to his cheek, I told him I loved him. “You are my favorite father-in-law. You know that. I love you.” I kissed his cheek. “You can go when I am gone if you need to. It’s okay.”

And he did.

That night after my husband read 1 Thessalonians 5, a chapter of instructions, Clifton breathed his last breathe and his body was at rest.

His funeral was two and a half hours of joy, mourning, tears and laughter and I have never been more proud of my husband then when he got up and spoke of God’s love and devotion to Jesus.

My husband told me he would go on missions with me if he didn’t have to speak or pray in front of anyone. This was the same thing his dad said before he came a minister.

And yet, there he was, on stage speaking to many people after one of the hardest losses in his life, if not the hardest.

You see, Clifton and Joshua worked together everyday.

Most people when they loose a father-in-law, dad and husband don’t loose their business partner and pastor too, but we did. Clifton was an integral part of our family.

I want to tell you something about Clifton- Jesus was such an integral part of Clifton’s life that He was all he talked about. I am not exaggerating. He saw everything through a spiritual lense.

Did I agree with everything he said?

No, but I loved him dearly and have no doubt of the sealing of his soul.

Besides, you will find in death what you agree on and what you don’t doesn’t really matter as long as you have the confidence that person’s spirit knew the Lord intimately and is spending eternity with Him.

To all who prayed for us, thank you so much. Please continue to lift us up in prayer as we navigate this next year and all the changes it will bring.

To all who have supported us with giving, flowers, meals and visits- thank you so much for your generosity.

We are blessed to have wonderful friends and the family of God is amazing.

For those of us who are in Christ- we have a promise. We will see each other again one day.

However, as one of my favorite movie lines states, “But not yet….”

This Christmas I made something for my husband. It is a picture frame of the ten devotionals we read together as a family while Clifton was in the hospital. Through extreme exhaustion, fear and pain, God’s Word stands strong. I call it “My First Ten Days in Heaven…”

There is no time in heaven, but I believe those ten days we were waiting for a miracle, a miracle had already occurred- a faithful follower saw his Savior face to face.

And there are miracles to come…

 

***
We press on to do the work of Christ.

See you soon … but not yet.

***

1 Thessalonians 5 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Thessalonians%205&version=NIV)

The Day of the Lord

5 Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, ² for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. ³ While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

⁴ But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. ⁵ You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. ⁶ So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. ⁷ For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. ⁸ But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. ⁹ For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. ¹⁰ He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. ¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Final Instructions

¹² Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. ¹³ Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. ¹⁴ And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. ¹⁵ Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not treat prophecies with contempt ²¹ but test them all; hold on to what is good, ²² reject every kind of evil.

²³ May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²⁴ The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

²⁵ Brothers and sisters, pray for us. ²⁶ Greet all God’s people with a holy kiss. ²⁷ I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers and sisters.

²⁸ The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.