“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” 
Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)

Forgiveness.. doesn’t that word sting a little bit? 

Sometimes it’s true- we don’t want to forgive; however,  I have found that unforgiveness is toxic. Here are a few reasons why: 

1. Unforgiveness makes you bitter. You are not able to have the full potential of fellowship with others when you choose to hold grudges against someone else. This always runs over into your other relationships causing dissension, tension or a break. 
2. Unforgiveness keeps you from God’s best. When we choose to not forgive someone, we truly are limited in how we can be used by God. How can we love others like Jesus with hate in our hearts? 
3. Unforgiveness keeps you stagnant. Do you want to heal? Holding a grudge against that person only makes your wound deeper and more raw. It becomes infested and soon you have a more traumatic issue than had you taken care of it to begin with. 

But you say, “Lisa, how can I forgive? I am not ready yet.” 

That’s okay. I’ve been there. Try this: 

“I forgive ____________ for…” and start listing… 

Your list may be long, but do this everyday. When you feel anger rising.. start listing. When you smell that smell that reminds you of that event… start listing. When you see something that brings it back to memory… start listing. When your feel that deep ache in your heart of pain… start listing. Even if you don’t mean it, pray and start listing.

“Lord, I forgive ___________ for…” 

Why do you have to do this everyday? Because you are human and you will remember. You will have days when it seems like you are in a rage or crushed all over again. When that happens STOP, take a deep breathe. 

NO WHERE in the Bible does it say to forgive and forget. In fact, we are built in a way that we are taught to learn from our memories even if those memories are painful.

Don’t feel guilty if the anger comes back, or the sadness returns.

Forgiveness is not a one time event… you have to keep forgiving.

Keeping listing and you will find that one day… you mean it.