“And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25 (NLT)

Today I stood in front of my new church family- half excited, half scared. I took the plunge for the first time in my life to move my membership from my hometown church to a church I have been attending for months in the town in which I now reside. 

As I stood in line and was greeted by member after member I smiled and shook hands, hugged and laughed and thanked God for these bright loving faces. 

Lisa Donham still believes in church membership. But Lisa Donham has not always been happy in church. 

After Africa, I was mad at God. After my annulment- I was mad at everything. For the first time in my life I wasn’t comfortable around Christians. I felt tainted and unworthy. 

I had grown up in small town church with wonderful people who instilled servitude, love and the importance of prayer in me from an early age. I was a leader growing up in the church in everything from music to youth ministry to Wednesday night children’s activities. You name it- I did it. 

And yet in my anger, fighting through my stage of grief, I found myself dissatisfied and feeling too damaged to be apart of the church. This was not because the church made me feel this way. On the contrary, my church family gathered around me after my marriage fell apart. As I sat on the front pew crying and nestled in the arms of my family in panic, shock and pain, they prayed over me and everyone involved. It was one of the most beautiful pictures of the church I had ever experienced.

My feelings came mostly from my misconceptions of the church and taking my personal feelings out on others and from listening and believing satan’s attacks of shame. The past couple of years I have learned some things.

1. Church is not a perfect building full of perfect people. Number one, we do refer to the church building as the “church,” but in reality the “church” is the family of God. I have worshipped with family in Africa in a church built of tin and sticks with a dirt floor and witnessed the Spirit more than I have in some American churches with beautiful wood pews, carpeted floors and ornate ceilings. That is because the church is not a building- it is a family. It is Christ followers of the world gathered together. 
   “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
   Matthew 18:20 (NIV) 
   From a few people in Africa gathered in a mud hut, to a colony in China gathered underground, to an American congregation gathered in a building- we are all the church if we are in Christ. 
   And we are not perfect. Okay I admit it! You caught me. I am a hypocrite! And so is everyone else in the world. We are all hypocrites. We don’t all do what we say all the time. Can I be real honest with you? No one is perfect. This doesn’t give Christians a reason to go out and blow it on purpose, but I remember the point where I realized the church wasn’t perfect. I was sitting in a room with others who were voicing all of their prayer requests and problems and I realized- these people were a lot like me- broken. Suddenly I felt more welcome and comfortable after realizing a lot of my expectations came from myself- not other people. I have been so blessed to be apart of great churches from childhood until now and we all have one thing in common- none of us are perfect. 
2. Church is not a place to just attend. The same way church is not a building- even though we use that word for that purpose- church is not a place to go and leave. It is a community. A family.  A place to serve. This doesn’t mean that we have to be involved in everything, but you will find yourself enjoying church more when you take a role. Maybe you are a good singer? Maybe you are good with children? Perhaps you have the gift of administration and can help with leading an outreach minsitry? Whatever your gift is- use it. 
   
3. Church is not a place to suffer alone.
   “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 
   “Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Hebrews 13:3 
   We are told over and over in the Word to suffer together, not alone. We need each other. We need community, and as Christians- yes we need the family of God.  Church is not a place to put on a mask. Now there is a balance to this one. One of the things I struggled with after my ordeal was dumping all of my problems and pain on everyone else. People are people and no one is equipped to handle everything, but imagine what church would be like if we were all real? If we really expressed our imperfections, aches and pains. Now no one is entitled to know everything about you. There are some things that should be kept private and there is nothing wrong with that. But in some instances people feel like they have to be perfect because we sometimes act perfect. I have found more people respond to “Hey I need me some Jesus, what about you?” Better than, “Hey Jesus loves you, you no good filthy heathen!” LOL 

That’s not to say we shouldn’t have standards and rules in the church and that there shouldn’t be expectations, but that is another blog in itself.

We all need each other. 

And don’t think I am sitting here writing this from someone who has always wanted to go to church, has never gotten mad at the church, or who hasn’t been hurt by someone in the church. It is called a family for a reason. There are times when I don’t want to be around my family. There are times my family makes me mad. There are times my family has hurt me. But they are family and I love them. And if someone tried to hurt them…

Who doesn’t love Sandra? I mean for real. 

Why do we expect our family of God to be any different? Yes there should be distinctions between us and the world- but as long as we are on this earth we will all have to work at getting along and loving one another.

We are all human. We all make mistakes. We will fail one another- but as the family of God we are all covered in the blood of Jesus and we love one another the best we can. 

And just like our earthly family, we should protect, serve and love our heavenly family.

Does that mean we will always do it right? Heck no. 

But that means we have a Savior who will step in when that happens and is willing to take the hurt, pain and sin from our shoulders and put it onto His. 

I am so excited for this new journey in my life and to commune with my newly found family. I was blessed this morning by a couple in the church I have served with on missions for years came and stood with me at the front. “We didn’t want you to stand alone.” I wanted to cry in response to their love and welcoming arms. 

Never ever think you are below God’s grace. No one is below the grace and forgiveness of God, and I would say that to anyone who has hurt me and anyone who hasn’t. No one is below God’s gift of salvation.

I have experienced forgiveness and grace in the past two years that I never thought possible, and so can you through the love of Christ for yourself.

May we not be perfect. May we be real.