There is nothing like battling yourself. 

I have to do this often. 

Thoughts like “You aren’t good enough. You don’t matter. You are something else Lisa… You are strange… You are too weird… No one will like you… No one will understand… What if something bad happens… What if your something goes wrong… What if your past repeats itself…”

I hate this battle. 

What makes our battles even harder is that we know our battles better than anyone.

Take your smallest problems. 

I have a compulsive texting problem which stems from an anxiety and depression problem… which stems from a chemical imbalance and a heart problem of not feeling good enough… which stems from a spiritual problem of the fall of man which led to imperfections. It’s all connected. What is a surface problem is actually a deep seeded heart problem and that is the key to true recovery I have found- attacking the heart/spiritual problem. And now that I have discovered this I can tackle the surface problem. (That’s a lot of rambling for a lot of self discovery.)

satan works his butt off to remind me of my failures, short comings and my struggles and the funny thing is- he never reminds me of my worth. 

Have you ever noticed that? satan never reminds you of the good things about you.

So I stay captive to these lies that I am not enough and that there is never anyone who will truly care for me. And the anxiety at times can become debilitating and eventually you become depressed just from dealing with all the anxiety. 

These feelings of inadequacy cause me to look for value and completion in other areas including popularity, relationships and reputation.

I have learned that the constant need to feel needed is a human trait that is rarely satisfied. 

It’s not just that so many of us feel unloved- we don’t feel needed.

Everyone has a boyfriend but you. Or everyone has a girlfriend but you. Or all your exe’s are with someone- and you are alone. Or you seem to have a small circle of friends while others have a lot of friends and never cease to be doing something while you are sitting at home.

So what do we do in those times when we feel useless? When the anxiety and depression are looming? When we feel like we can’t take another day of constant worry or pain. 

When it seems a no one NEEDS us. 

There are a few truths we must hold onto during these times. 

1. YOU NEED YOU!

Have you every thought that maybe the person that needs you the most is you…

That perhaps you needs you to keep on, to survive, to try, to keep living, to keep breathing- to influence, to care, to nurture, to thrive. 

Sometimes it’s not that you can’t give up on others, you can’t afford to give up on yourself! 

So banish those thoughts that you aren’t needed. 

Everyone that is breathing has purpose.

So tell yourself that you need you, the world needs you and God created you to have an intimate relationship with Him and others.

2. THOSE THAT LOOK UP TO YOU NEED YOU.

Being a teacher, I am constantly reminded that I am needed by my students. 

“Miss D, how do you do this?”… “Miss D, how do you spell this?”… “Miss D how do you write this?” 

Perhaps that is why I like teaching so much- I love the nurturing aspect of the job and being able to shape, mold and love little minds. Little minds that love you. Little minds that need love themselves. 

No matter who you are I promise you there are little ones watching you. Because that is what little ones do. And perhaps adults as well. 

3. MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!!

This is the one that most people struggle with, and I know I struggle with the most.

You are more than your anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or whatever mental illness you face- you are a soul created by God to do great things. 

It doesn’t seem that way when facing these giants because when you are in the midst of them you can’t see anything else but that. 

Which leads us to this question: 

What can we do to combat mental illness in our own lives? Because the only person we can change is us. The only person we can control is us. I have learned this the hard way.

So here are some practical suggestions:

1.GO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU!
A spa day. A shopping trip. A night out with friends. This is something you can do for you and take your mind off of yourself at the same time. Go do something for you! Craft, read, take an hour long bath if you want. Embroidery, keep a journal, eat that pint of ice cream. Most things are okay in moderation and in the right context- so do something for you.

2. MEDICATION/THERAPY
This is the one that most people have trouble with and that I had trouble with. I remember waiting to get into the counselor because I felt at times I couldn’t go day to day- it was the longest month of my life. There is no shame in therapy or medication. Not all medications work for everyone so you may have to try a few before you find one that works for you. And not all therapist are a good fit. So don’t give up after one. Just because the first therapist doesn’t work out or the first medication doesn’t work out- that doesn’t mean someone else or something else won’t.

I always told others, “My therapist has to listen to me. She gets paid to listen to me. Bless her heart.” She can’t get up and leave. She can’t tell you you are an awful person. And if you have a therapist that does this… find a different one. 

3. HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP
Something that is key on the road of any mental illness or addiction or any struggle for that matter is a support group. This can include a church family, a therapist, a doctor, family, friends. Make sure that your support group is wise. Having a support group that is crappy can be worse than not having one at all. Choose your circle wisely.

4. GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE.
This is the hardest one for me to do. I am very hard on myself and even when I am not hard on myself- I am hard on myself. Realize no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and allow yourself to grieve your mess ups and struggles but don’t let it define you. 

Trust me… I know this is the hardest one for the perfectionists out there. I am perfectionist with extreme anxiety. It’s like the recipe for a ticking time bomb. LOL 

Give yourself time; give yourself grace; give yourself patience. 

5. HAVE FAITH!

I realize not all people are religious but hands down what helps me the most is Jesus. Now I say this to say that I don’t necessarily believe, “If you have enough faith everything will go away.” 

I believe in miracles, but when those miracles don’t take place we are given doctors, medications, and therapists for a reason and I believe God can use all of them to heal and help those of us who are broken. 

Prayer. Meditate on God and His Word. Simple acts of kindness. Jogs, yoga, walks while you ponder life and it’s decisions. Embracing your Creator and growing in His presence. This can be the most beneficial and the hardest for those of us with anxiety, depression or any other mental illness. Because it involves giving up control- and that is scary.

But regardless, there has to be some reason and some explanation for humanity. And I believe that is all anchored in Jesus. 

And always remember….

You are valued. 
You are loved. 
You are useful. 

To all those out there battling mental illness- today is your day to shine and give hope to others! Keep your lamp burning brave one!