I have noticed a trend in our society that really bothers me. 

In our quest for feminism and equality we have forgotten a key component to the way God designed humanity- respect. 

We have stopped respecting men. 

Now, before you say- well Lisa you don’t understand! Men aren’t respectable! 

Trust me… I know some men do not treat women the best. Trust me… I have been hurt. Trust me… I realize that in the main dating stream these days there seems to be an influx of men that would rather have a good time than a good marriage or relationship. Trust me… I am not speaking out of ignorance. 

So please hear me out… 

I am well aware not all men are respectable. LOL I hope that made you laugh as hard as it did me. 

But even those men that don’t make the best choices were created in the image of God.

I try to remember that when thinking of men that have hurt me. Not that I think all men who have hurt me aren’t respectable- some are. In many cases it was both of us.

Let’s just try to remember- they are loved by God too.

BUT… let’s focus on ourselves for a moment shall we? 

We as wemon are equal. We as women are capable. That is true!

And one more thing…

We as women NEED men. 

YES- I said it. 

Now let me explain, I was raised in a home with a mom who had gotten married young and walked the road of marriage for many years, and for her it worked. My parents have a great marriage, not perfect, but great. 

But growing up, I knew that my story would be a little different.

 I didn’t want to get married young. I wanted a car. I wanted a house. I wanted to know I could take care of myself in case anything happened to my husband I wouldn’t need a man to make living.

I am SO GLAD I made that decision, because a broken marriage did happen and had it not been for God, my family and that decision getting out of that would not have been as smooth. Not that it was smooth, about as smooth as a jagged cliff. LOL But you get the point. 

So I am not saying we need men as in we all have to be married and nobody can be successful without a man. 

But this world does need men. 

I wrote a blog awhile back about why we need Godly men and charged the men in the world to take a stand for Christ and be the leaders they were meant to be. 

Now I want to talk to my ladies out there.

Let’s start respecting men again. Please. 

You don’t have to submit to things that they ask you to do that are against the Word of God. I am not saying that you are nice and friendly to every man all the time. 

We need to stop saying all men are dogs and that they all are good for opening pickle jars. 

Give them true value. 

Chocolate and wine may be great, but they can’t hold you at night. LOL

In our quest for value we have devalued men. 

We have reduced them to manual labor duty, pleasing our bodies and pampering us. 

Yeah, I said it. 

And yes I’m guilty of thinking that way sometimes. 

Until I see them as souls and not just men. 

It’s the same with a woman. We are just meant to hold babies, please men’s bodies and clean. We are souls too. 

But why do we get this way? Let’s look at some ways women start to devalue or hate men.

1. Absent Father– Some women grew up with an absent father and therefore their view of men is that men leave, so they either don’t attached at all or they become too attached and seek that love out in other men that they should have been given from their earthly father.
2. Abusive/Neglectful Spouse– There is almost nothing that compares to being mistreated by the person that is supposed to care the most about you- your spouse. This relationship is biblical above every other relationship- even that of your parents or children. A house can not function properly if the marriage is in shambles. That is why being hurt by a spouse is so painful; they are the person that is supposed to be the most important other than God. When women are abused or neglected by their spouse a resentment can grow towards men, or she will seek that affection from another man in those areas where she was mistreated. This is pretty normal after divorce or even the death of an abusive spouse. This is also why at times the cycle continues. 
3. Abusive/Neglectful Father– Or perhaps your dad was not much of a dad. What then? Perhaps he was abusive towards you or your mother, or he was around but we wasn’t really “around.” Women who grow up in these types of homes become adults with a perspective of what they most definitely don’t want. Why then do they at times end up with someone that is the same way? Because they either grow up to desire that affection or they don’t at all. There is usually no in between. 

So what can we do to respect men and heal those wounds?

Counseling is always a good idea for someone who needs someone to listen. Perhaps that a professional counselor, a pastor, a trust friend. I will say sometimes it benefits to have someone who is outside the situation that does not know everyone involved which is why I always say professional counseling has it’s benefits. 

Prayer and spending time with God is always a good idea- even though I don’t do this often enough. 

While you are working on addressing those wounds what are some ways we can put the value back in “man?” 

1. Compliment him. Tell him “good job.” Be encouraging. Show him you are proud of him. I can be excessively encouraging which at times I’m sure gets overbearing, but I grew up in a home with a mom who supported my dad. I try very hard to support and encourage other men as well in their work. Tell him you are proud of him for working. 

And if he doesn’t work… and has no desire to…don’t do it… RUN! 

2. Listen. Do I know this is hard during an argument when he is considering buying that lot you can’t afford and telling you what he is going to do with it. LOL But wait… stop… listen. You don’t have to agree, but try to listen. At least. 

I know sometimes his ideas are… not the best. But if we would stop and listen and just not say anything- he might just faint and wonder what is really wrong. LOL

3. Point out his good points and be thankful. Send that text that says, “Hey stud, you have beautiful eyes!” “You look handsome today!” “You made my day buying me lunch!” “Hey, you can do this, you are smart!” Point out his good points! Find something, even if it’s small, and say thank you! Men like this too, not just women. Men like knowing they are attractive, smart, funny, talented. 

There you go, three things we can do to put the value back in men! 

I realize I am not the best person for relationship advice, but I do know what NOT to do and I’m learning more of through each experience. There are some things I could have done better, there are some things I was great at. But either way, we learn. 

So let’s start respecting men as a whole again! Let’s try it. 

Men you are loved. 
You are valued. 
You are useful.