“For I, the Lord, do not change…” Malachi 3:6

So, lately I have been finding myself changing.

Shall I call it “growing up…becoming my own Lisa?” 

Drinking coffee… teaspoons of sugar… a lot of white chocolate mocha creamer…

Eating Alfredo sauce….
Enjoying running…. (This is more of a returning trait.)
Wine is good, white not many reds, moscato I like a lot-O…. sweet wine…
I started wearing makeup everyday for the first time in two years…
I’m getting a tattoo…

I find myself wanting to do my nails…
Recycling, animal preservation and minimalism have become important to me, but that’s been in the works for awhile. 

I’m becoming like this grown up… woman… LOL 

What is going on? I am even asking myself… 

Still some things remain the same: 

I still love black. I will always black. I will never stop loving black. 

I still love cold weather.
I still hate ranch dressing. 
And Jesus has been with me. Every step of the way.

In my good decisions. In my bad decisions. And in other people’s decisions that affect me. 

He is the constant. The thing that does not change. 

Even when I do. 

I find myself saying words I didn’t know I could say at times… 

Can I be human by admitting this?

I still love rap music and jazz, I dance a more often and don’t care as much about what others think. My sass is coming back….

But I’ve started listening to some old country favorites again… slow dance music- none of that new rock country crap that isn’t country.

I still prefer nonfiction books. Yes I underline in my books, yes I study them. Yes, I am a total book nerd. 

But in the midst of all these changes, like I said, one thing remains the same- Jesus.

Why are you just now noticing this Lisa? You may ask. 

I lived in utter chaos for two years. Constant stress, constant change, constant emotional or physical pain. The first three years of my twenty year old life were spent in college and my first year of teaching. Enough said. And the past two have been spent picking up the pieces of my broken life and trying to recover from illness and heartache. 

So maybe, just maybe, I am finding me. 

I am learning what I can handle. What I can’t. 

I like to call it…. blooming. 

I don’t call it perfectly blooming, because it’s painful at times. It’s a lot like a rose bush or pruning my plants at home. If you have plants at home you know that you have to pick away the dead leaves and stems for it to sprout and grow new ones. 

That’s a lot like what is happening with me I would say. 

I have had times when I was acting like someone I wasn’t and was called out.

It’s okay to change, but don’t change yourself for other people. 

That’s the key to that. Make the changes you want and need for yourself. 

In all of my wandering, in all of my changes, in all of my circumstances- my God remains the same. 

And I am so thankful He does not change. 

You are loved.
You are valuable.  
You are useful.